Beer

Ommegang Chocolate

2008-12-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

I was expecting a whole lot more. Much better finish than starting flavors - lacked anything distinguishing- tasted a bit bland. Great bottle art. 7% alc/vol. Rich pour - seemed to have a poor head.

Package - 7.7
Color - 5.3
Taste - 5.9
After Taste - 7.5

All this trash talking nd I'm still aging a bottle! Hope it gets better!

Anno 1216

2008-12-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

Abbaye-Val~Dieu Blond

Bought as a 3 pack (each with a different color cap) and a very nice glass (see pic!) for $9.00. Bottle is classic three tier in brown glass (11.2oz). I tasted the Blond tonight with talapia.
Pours with a rich puffy white head and color of beer is rick golden color - like brazilian citrine. Does not lace at all when sipped. Definite pear and maybe apricot taste - love the fruit on the palate! Finishes smooth with a hint of an oaky taste that remains after each tasting. This is the real deal Belgium beer and at a modest 6% abv delivers a very respectable session without too much punch. Will be reviewing all 3 from this lot over the next week.

Package: 9.4 (for the layout of case and glass being included- top marks)
Color: 8.2
Taste: 8.5
After Taste: 8.1

Rosee D'hibiscu

2008-10-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

One of the wildest so far Ive had the chance to taste. The bottle has a really bohemian/folk art drawing on the label with a ton of info about where it was brewed and what it has in it. I love it when beer is not afraid to give you information about where it comes from. The pour is absolutely gorgeous. Its a med pink/amber tone with hint of copper. Never seen this color!! Small thin lace head. Smells like, well, hibiscus! and other floral smells with maybe a hint of grass. Maybe it was because I was so excited about it in general but the taste was really nice and full of robust roasted flavor! finishes really dry on the palate and is the only bad point. Really nice.

Package: 8.9
Color: 9.6
Taste: 8.5
Aftertaste: 7.9

St. Ambroise

2008-10-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

St. Ambroise Oatmeal Stout
To be frank- its 11.5 oz that left something to be desired. It had over roasted malt to the point of being extremely bitter almost metallic. There was slight hint of a coffee flavor but I will too busy scraping charcoal off my tongue. And where is that classic "Oatmeal Taste" similar to a Sammy Smiths? Glass reminds me of the Fuller's griffin. Great color though- nice super dark black and laces pretty well.

Package - 6.0
Color - 8.1
Taste - 3.8
After Taste- 3.5

Paul - Thank you!

Thank you Chunk!

2008-09-07T05:46:00.000-07:00

Mississippi Mud Black & Tan
Bottle: Old Fashion "XXX" Jug Style with 2 shaded Brown top/bottom. Totally original and clever packaging.
Pour: I was expecting something a lot darker since it was advertised as a "Black&Tan", but the med brown with a hint of red color provides a descent pour with a small head that lays thin.
Taste: Mild and smooth. There is almost no bite and has a very distint sweetness on the palate. One first taste i thought it was a honey or even a sugar cane taste, but it does infact stay over every sip! Quite nice and refreshing with the darker roasted grains.
After taste: Very little Hops and light on the back of the tounge once you finish a drink.

Package: 8.9
Color: 7.5
Taste: 7.2
After Taste: 7.9
"They got praelines and cream and they got Mississippi Mud... AND THEY GOT CHOCOLATE ERUPTION! And they got apple...and they got grape, they got grape, and SUPER DUPER CHOCOLATE ERUPTION!"

Shiner- hmmmmm

2008-09-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Shiner Black Lager:

I have never been a fan of this Mid Texas brew house. Their claim to fame being a Hefe-, which leaves much to be desired- par at best. Nevertheless, it was on sale, so why not? It pours well and has a wonderful rich chocolate and roasted scent to it. Not overpowering, in fact, could have given a bit more bite and I would not have complained. Good color and nothing too odd that would take points away. Not bad – I might buy it again.

Package – 5.9

Color – 7.8

Taste – 6.0

After Taste – 7.0

The Brits Are Pouring

2008-09-03T20:12:00.001-07:00

Boddington's:

It is the magnetic opposite of a Guinness. And I’m attracted to both. Thick White head that cascades just like the famous stout! And laces perfectly as you drink. Such a great late summer beer.The only way I can describe the first few sips is to say: Pure Silk. Its one of the most effortless drinks to keep on swallowing. Can design is a very clever- a great bright yellow with a bee and cask on the cover help it stand out among the 'regular' colors. I cannot drink just one and since they are in a 1 pint aluminum can they leave you with a slight buzz and a smile. Love the Bee! Cheers Wu!

Package: 8.5

Color: 9.0

Taste: 8.0

After Taste: 7.8

DARKNESS!!!!

2008-07-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

Sweetwater Brewery:
Happy Endings Imperial Stout
Bottle: Gold foil sealed and "Groelsh Style" flip top with a huge solid black bottle. Drawing and art work kept with classic Sweetwater style and the name - Happy Endings - was begging to be experimented.
Pour: Total Darkness, pours like the soul of the devil. There is absolutely no light at all in the glass, I have never seen a color this black. The head is the same color of whipped chocolate milk. Deep brown and highly carbonated even after pour. Head held till the very end.
Taste: The taste was very well defined and had a sharp and distinct Stout flavor. Sometimes you run into the "Imperial Stout" that tastes more like roasted malt with chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, and Guinness - its nice to have such a welcome surprise of a true Imperial that is happy to be itself. I was really happy with everything about the beer and for once I think that Sweetwater (God bless 'em) has found something that they can't rape with HOPS! It has a slight almost almond or vanilla on the finish. It is a stout standard in my book and is so smooth that it reserves a spot as a session beer for a cool spring night. Highly recommended. But get em quick!! --each one of the bottles are numbered by hand individually sold...I don't know how long they are gonna be at your local Quicktrip. GO GO GO!

Package: 9.5
Color: 9.1
Taste: 8.8
After Taste: 9.2

Post Script: I had to use random persons photo since my camera is MIA at the moment.

2008-05-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

I had the great pleasure to sample one of the New Belgium Brewery's finest over my last visit to the Show-Me-State. The 1554 was one of the NBB's that i really thought I would get to try out in Colorado but thanks to the ever expanding sub-culture of beer appreciation I got it in the Brown Derby Liquor Store just south of Springfield MO. I need to take a moment and talk about the amazing establishment of the Brown Derby. Justin, my brother, had told me on several occasions that if I ever had the chance to head out to Missouri I must seize the opportunity to visit this store. Thinking it was nothing more than a simple "beer store" my sister and I walked in. Inside it was full of boxes and empty wine crates piled to the ceiling. Drifting aimlessly we passed bottles of French wine that exceed the middle class America pocketbook, and headed to the back where I could see the blue tint of florescent lights on glass doors- the beer cooler! It was a pretty nice collection: Chimay (red,white & blue), the whole Unibroue collective, tons of Fort Collins Co brews, New Belgium collection, and other west coast known names. Approx 20-30 different types- nice but not orgasmic. A few minutes after debating which one to grab a very nice gentleman approached and asked if we needed help. I rattled off that I was hoping for a little more of selection of Belgium Bottle Fermented beers... to which he quickly and calmly retorted: "Follow me". He took me around the corner and imagine that I had the same feeling that a father has after seeing his newborn child in his wifes arms. HOLY SHIT! Wall to wall beer, Stouts, Porters, Sweet Porters, Lagers, Ales, True Bitters, Pilsners! Everything!!! Over 100 types, colors and varietes!! It was amazing! Well $60 and 4 beers later I reminded my sister that she promised not to let me spend over $30. One of those beers was a 6 pack of 1554. The dark coal colored liquid was smooth pouring and held a wonderful head. The aroma was suttl eand yet well balanced. I wasnt expecting it to taste and to finish so well! If I had to choose a picture to describe the taste it would be: On a porch of cabin in a rocking chain around 7:30pm watching the sun set up in the Rockies. It was awesome. This brewing company deserves all the praise and hype you might expect. They truly love to brew and you can taste it in every sip.

Package: 5.5
Color: 8.0
Taste: 8.9
After Taste: 9.2

Palmetto State meets Amber

2008-03-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

South Carolina has much to offer besides remarkable coastal views and spectacular dinning...it offers beer. I had the change to sip a Palmetto Amber. Brewed locally in Charleston at the Palmetto Brewing Co. this beer is one of four beer types that they produce. Using the classic plant of South Carolina state flag Palmetto Ales' artwork is simple and pretty attractive. The coastline helps brings the drinking into a mental mindset before indulging, just as a good label should! The pour is nice, very little head and what little is there remains white and thin. Color is a fairly nice red/brown a nice basic color for the Amber name. The first taste on the tongue is nice and relatively smooth. Roasted malt coming through at the beginning but quickly overwhelmed by hops. Sweet Jesus, here come the hops, someone grab a life vest I'm drowning in too much overpowering hops and not enough malt or other flavor to balance! Get me outta here. It's sad. I was really happy with getting a local brew on a hot day and even having a "thumbs-up" from the waiter! Ohh well, at least the coastline and seafood are still amazing. Good luck. Cheers
Package: 7.4
Taste: 6.1
Aftertaste: 3.9
Color: 5.3

Atlanta: From Brew House and Brew Spouts

2008-02-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

I have a new goal for this site. While I still intend to use the PTBGS I feel that it needs to be applied to something tangible to not only help fellow beer lovers easily grade their tasteful libations but also have locations to enjoy them. So....It is with great pleasure that I announce that starting as soon as I can find a fucking house to rent in Atlanta I will be going from Pub to Brew house and describing the premises as well as the extent of the beer selection present. This will help you know what to expect when you are looking for a quiet bar to sit in the dark with a great Rauchbier or a fantastic sports bar that believes that the pinnacle of brewing extends beyond Bud Select.

Target: Atlanta
Goal: Map Pubs and Bars and grade them accordingly
Time: As long as it takes
Team: Me + anyone who wants to come!!! let me know!

prosit

Bud and Clamato

2008-02-14T19:22:00.001-08:00

I had the most horrible experience this last week. Arizona is a great state and the landscape truly left me inspired! Upon heading into a gas station on a warm 75 degrees on Feb 12th, I immediately headed to the ice cooler to see what regional beers were avail that I don't have the privilege of trying: Miller Lite, Budweiser, Bud Light, Coors, Dos Equis, Corona, Fat Tire Amber Ale, and Clamato. Clamato, what the hell...24 ounce aluminum can of newness! Reading the label: Budweiser and clamato juice with a hint of lime and salt. Jesus Christ this is nuts! Like a poor mans Bloody Mary. This is too crazy and it was like $2 for a whole can. I asked the clerk (female, 25) "So does this stuff actually taste good?" Answer: "Well sorta, if you have been drinking all night and you don't want a hang over, you can drink one of them...Its a Mexican thing, they love it"

10:00 rolled around and wanting to truly taste the Clamato goodness without tainting my palate with any other beers, I poured a nice tall glass of the "cream of tomato soup" colored beer. Tasted like battery acid with a hint of lime and salt. It burned. Not like the im-so-wasted-on-vodka burning, but like the no-don't-mix-those-chemicals-together-they-will-burn-flesh-right-off-your-hands kinda burn. It was terrible, horrible, even a little disorienting. A little like watching the republican candidates debate. Don't ever drink that shit ever. Ever. You have been warned.
Package: 4.0
Taste: 2.2
After Taste: 1.3
Color: 2.0

Catagories

2008-01-30T19:51:00.000-08:00

The Categories

Packaging - How well did the art department do at making you "want" to down their beer? Take into account the bottle shape, the color of the bottle, the art work on the label and how it reflects the quality of the beer once tasted. Example - if the text looks like it was hand written with a magic marker from Ms. Johnson's 5th grade art class and tastes like someone dropped their glue stick in it, the beer should receive high marks - it looks like it tastes. Text and orginality are deserving of high marks. A good example of clever and unique art work that springs to mind would be the Unibroue Brewery in Quebec (see photo). Don't forget the cap!

Color - The color of the beer is extremely important. You want a light colored beer to finish easy and smooth and a dark beer to leave something with you until the end. The color of the pour is the first thing you judge before taking the ever important step into grading the taste.

Immediate Taste - Does it Punch? Is it tasteless? Make you say: "Whoa!" These judgments should be noted the second you allow air into your mouth. Let the beer to be born on your tastebuds. Keep it simple and keep it truthful. Don't let your head over analyze it, save that for the next category.

After Taste (palate) - If the other categories are divisions of a sports team the After Taste is the Majors. What do you taste after 1/2 of the glass is downed? Have the flavor's melded or changed? Too much Hopps? And contrary to popular belief too much hops is possible. Do you taste chocolate and does it relate well with the color and original first impressions of the beer? I have had beers that were terrible on first taste and strangely got better and better as i drank, this will denote high marks in the After Taste category.

2008-01-28T17:08:00.000-08:00

This site is intended for one purpose: to help give you my opinion on the best and worst beers from across the US and World. I was inspired by my good friend from college, Jono, almost 6 years ago to classify and grade the beers that I had the opportunity to consume. 130 beers later Eric Bargeron and Eme Crawford encouraged me to take my almost limitless criticisms to the world wide web. And here you have it. I will do my best to also place links to other sites and information out there so that you too can use the PapaToole Beer Grading System. After the German Reinheitsgebot of 1516 my grading system is equally regarded as an uncompromisingly rigid system created to remove impurity in beer.

Scale:

0.0-0.9 - Few beers have ever reached this most feared notch on the PapaToole Beer Grading or PTBGS. If scoring a beverage this low there are certain criteria it must meet: Is this beer truly offensive to my very existence? Are you stupider or perhaps less alive because you partook of these libations? Was this beer brewed in someones meth lab? If the answer is YES to any one of these statements it must rank somewhere between 0.0-0.9

1.0-1.9 - Wow! What a terrible beer! I mean really. This is usually the placement for most home brewers 1st batches. Of course you can't say this in front of them because if they are anything like me they invited a whole group of people over to try the very first batch of a classic American Pilsner that tastes more like the south end of the north bound kangaroo than beer. Also, in the PTBGS there are artistic categories that they receive a score in the 1's: you can be certain that someone used monotone color in a clear bottle and possibly used wine corks to seal the bottles.

2.0-2.9 - "That Right Thar is bad news" Poor craftsmanship and moreover poor quality. These are the 'ohh my god it burns...is it suppose to burn when I drink it' beers. Most often these nearly undrinkable concoctions contort the face into a near photo copy of the wrapper of a box Sour Patch Kids. Ouch!

3.0-3.9 - "Be Gone You Foul Beast!" Pauly Shore would like this beer. These beers usually dominate the college frat and party scene. Cheap as hell and the brewers usually get their yeast cultures from Wonderbread. Keystone and Colt 45 are classic examples. I won't say that I haven't downed a huge 40oz of Schlitz just to look cool in college, but I can assure you those days are in the past.

4.0-4.9 - In the words of my good friend Dr. Wu: "meh". Its not good beer. It's not terrible. Its missing something. It has too much of something that is making it taste like a bike chain (don't laugh I've said that before). But the bad is not the overwhelming part, just the part that is taking it away from sitting atop a high slot on the scale. Most of the American Pilsners that refuse to actually add flavor to their beer fall into this category . I promise not to show bias.

5.0-5.9 - Its important to be clear about the mid 5's. These should be the average beer scores. If you are drinking at a party and run outta beer while in the midst of an engaging conversation with one or more individuals and someone passes you a solid 5 beer on the PTBGS, you would continue mid sentence and never look down at what you just drank. These are the move-along-nothing-to-see-here beers. Please note: offensive beers need not be lumped into this category just because you think 5 means bad- please scroll up to see the definition that best matches your beer.

6.0-6.9 - Sixes should be C students of the PTBGS. Nothing great but drinkable and slightly enjoyable by the mass public. These beers often have 'mass-appeal' and usually don't give you terrible hangovers.

7.0-7.9 - Sevens are good beers! Respect the 7. Just as a trip through Vegas rollin' on 7's will bring you luck, a beer crafted with respect to quality and balance will net you a 'High Roller' feeling. Sometimes I give beers that are not really good low seven because the company or person that crafted the beer took a real risk in experimenting with something new and unique. Pumpkin Beer, Pepper Beer, and Lambic fermented with odd fruits stand firm here. However, shit is shit, so don't give a Jalapeño and peach blend a fighting chance if it is a terrible idea. But show respect when it is deserved.

8.0-8.9 - Great Beers Apply Within! These beers are the most sought after by this humble writer. More often than not they are affordable and very enjoyable to drink no matter what the occasion. Beer connoisseurs will often agree with your choices in this category. 8's help you find a slot for great beers that aren't your favorite type to imbibe. For example, if you don't really enjoy stouts, but respect them as a variety of beer, and you know that you had a well crafted stout that needs to be congratulated...place him here.

9.0-9.9 - The finest that beer has to offer. Perfect balance of flavor, alcohol, and aesthetic appeal. Just like Julia Stiles, its the full package! These beers demand to be followed up by the exact same bottle you just downed. Respect be given to these pints! Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow and death, Yea, I will fear no evil. I have thy liquid bread, and it is good. Special Note- *Anything over 9.5 yield power over the drinker so intense that if you happen to pass said beer at your local beverage shoppe you simply could NOT resist purchasing a 6 pack of this beer. It's beyond your control.

10.0 - Unless the beer is crafted by the very hand of god, do not give it a 10. Out of the hundreds of beers I have sampled never once has a beer been so good that it made my eyes roll into the back of my head. A beer so divine that you are at a loss of words and usually a loss of bladder control. This beer is out there, I MUST believe this, it is what keeps me searching.

With this knowledge you can now rank each beer you sample. Categories that PTBGS uses to judge the finest in fermentation will be posted in the next few days!